Engaging with The Hanger

Our heart is helping those in foster care is one of care and prevention. Sometimes kids enter the foster care system from either domestic violence or sexual abuse situations. They are without their families and often split up from their siblings. As kids mature, there are less and less homes available for them, so they end up in facilities that were created for teen offenders, not kids without a home. We institutionalize our children and leave them in homes where further abuse and neglect can happen. But there are bright spots in the foster care system – organizations like CASA advocate on behalf of the child and provide the stability and care most of the children don’t get otherwise. Our hope is that if we can affect kids in foster care we can not only stop generational domestic violence, but create safe places so kids don’t runaway and become susceptible to traffickers and other predators. So much in the cycle of violence, abuse and neglect could be ended if we had better foster care with more loving homes ready to take in one or two children and stick it out with them. Currently only 3% of those in foster care go to college. If we had mentors in the foster care system, people to engage and stay with a teen, to be there for them and provide the stability of an adult in their life, we could increase that number!

How does that relate to clothes and cowboy boots? One of the biggest ways to fight the stigma for kids in foster care is to help them experience normal activities other kids don’t have to think about. Teens in foster care are given a $90 stipend for clothes when they are 13 or 14. That’s it! After that the teen better hope someone in the house left behind clothes or they go through high school with one outfit or don’t go at all. By providing clothing to The Hanger we are giving high schoolers a way to build their wardrobe and hopefully stay in school.

It’s the little things that we can do. If being able to get a prom dress means a girl will get to experience that night and feel a bit more like her friends (who never have a consideration for new clothes, shoes, etc. because of their home situation) that is incredible. It is a step – a small but vital step.

Join us in coming alongside those in foster care. Donate here.

What We’ve Been Doing

Over the last year two Boy Scouts have approached us to help with their Eagle project. In both cases we asked them to create bags for The Milton Foster Children’s Fund. The first did 24 duffle bags, complete with a fleece blanket, a flashlight, a deck of cards and other fun items. The second made over 40 drawstring backpacks. They also donated school supplies, right at the time the teens were getting ready to go back to school.

Our donations have increased since the opening of The Hanger earlier this year. The Hanger is a shop specifically for teenagers in the foster care system in Teller and El Paso County. Any child 14-21 who needs to can come in on a Saturday and trade work time for items. It is an incredible way for teens to get clothing, shoes, and other supplies they need as well as experience working in a retail environment. Since the start of the year we have donated backpacks, clothes and duffle bags to The Hanger as well as granting some specific wishes for cowboy boots and a full length mirror. We were also able to provide food for a fun event The Hanger hosted for the teenagers thanks to a generous donor!

It’s been a busy few months over there at LTHF. We’ve had the amazing opportunity to work with a variety of groups within our community and have been able to deliver supplies to our partner agencies around town.

To help us provide more wishes and items our partner organizations needs donate here.

Senator Holds Up Military Nomination

From MilitaryTimes:

For six months, a prominent Democratic lawmaker has blocked Lt. Gen. Susan Helms’ nomination to be vice commander of Space Command, making it unlikely that she will ever be confirmed.

Helms continues to serve as commander of 14th Air Force. Lt. Gen. John Hyten has already been confirmed to replace her, but the Air Force is waiting for Helms to be confirmed before moving forward, Air Force spokesman Capt. Adam Gregory said. Helms’ nomination will expire in January 2015.

Both Helms and Hyten declined to comment for this story, Gregory said.

Sen. Claire McCaskill of Missouri first objected to Helms nomination in April and then reaffirmed her stance in June, citing Helms’ decision to overturn the sex assault conviction of a captain at Vandenberg Air Force Base, Calif., in February 2012.

“With her action, Lt. Gen. Helms sent a damaging message to survivors of sexual assault who are seeking justice in the military justice system: They can take the difficult and painful step of reporting the crime, they can endure the agony involved in being subjected to intense questioning often aimed at putting the blame on them, and they can experience a momentary sense of justice in knowing that they were believed when their attacker is convicted and sentenced, only to have that justice ripped away with the stroke of a pen by an individual who was never in the courtroom for the trial and who never heard the testimony,” McCaskill said in a statement submitted to the Congressional Record in June.

McCaskill’s position has not changed since then, her spokesman Drew Pusateri said.

(read the full article here)

We applaud Sen. McCaskill for taking the stand and not just rubber stamping the nomination. The Invisible War doubts that Helms' confirmation will ever go through. It's time for Helms' to step down and remove her name from consideration. It's also time for the chain of command to be taken out of the sexual assault investigation/prosecution process.

To learn more about the push for Congress to amend the Uniform Code of Military Justice (UCMJ) go here.

Patrick Stewart's Passion

Patrick Stewart was asked what the most important thing he has done outside of acting is and this was his response.

Here is the Amnesty talk that was referred to and a link to the UN platform he did. 

Stewart, who grew up in a home where abuse occurred, speaks to the mistaken prejudice that women must have "done something" to deserve their abuse. It is the lie that excuses the abuse and places the blame on the victim. It is wrong (to use his response)!  There is nothing a woman does to justify being attacked. Furthermore, Stewart (with lots of emotion) states: Violence is never, ever a choice that a man should make. 

This is the greatest lie that allows abuse to continue and it is one of the biggest lies we have to combat and defeat if we are ever going to end violence. Men need to stand up and say to other men that violence is not okay. 

I also appreciate that, without excusing his actions, Stewart is able to state that his father suffered with undiagnosed PTSD and that played a role in his behavior and abuse. Still, violence is a choice. Stewart now does a lot of work equally for battered women and for those who are suffering with PTSD.

Read about the experience from the amazing woman who asked Stewart the question. 

Girl Rising

On June 6th we are going to Girl Rising. The film is being show at  Interquest Stadium 14 (Screen TBD) 11250 Rampart Hill View, Colorado Springs.

Get your tickets here. Hurry, they are going fast!

Bring Out Your Inner van Gogh

On Tuesday we are at Painting with a Twist!  Please bring your friends and family, we would love to have them join us. There class is limited to just fifty people, so please remember to sign up! 

RSVP here. 

We will see you on Tuesday! 

Response to Steubenville

There has been a lot of attention recently on the two high schoolers in Ohio charged with the rape. The boys, sentenced in juvenile court, could serve up to  (only) five years for their crime.

The rape was horrific and unimaginable, as the boys posted videos and bragged about their assault to others. The victim only learned she was raped because of their pompous behavior.

From the AP:

"The accuser said she believed she was assaulted when she later read text messages among friends, saw a photo of herself from that night and watched a YouTube video in which a student cracks jokes about the alleged rape just hours afterward. She said she suspected she had been drugged because she couldn't explain being as intoxicated as defense witnesses have said she was."        

What has really caught our attention, however, is the media’s response to this. In most of the TV interviews/stories/etc. it is the boys who are treated as the victims! More people are concerned that the boys’ “promising football careers” has ended then they are by the boys’ actions of drugging, raping and broadcasting their assault!

This incident highlights for us the need to address the deep and perverted rape culture in our society.

The boys chose to do what they did and it seems like most believe they should be immune to the actions because of their athletic potential. The media is not disgusted by their actions, by their lack of humanity, by their cruelty or lack of respect for their victim. What is a promising football career to all of that? Their actions should be seen as repugnant and disgraceful. They are in no way a victim here. 
 

The only victim is the 16-year-old girl they raped. Period.

 

Rape is never the survivor’s fault. It does not matter how much she drank, what she was wearing, where she was walking, who she trusted, etc. The simple reality is that rape is the assault of one person by another. We need to put the action on the perpetrators (the boys in this case), see them as responsible – the only reason this assault occurred! And look at the victim with nothing but compassion, understanding and support.

The media’s response to this event sickens us. We are encouraging people who hear remarks on this case that only focus on the boys and make no mention of the girl’s life that was forever changed as well – to stand up, to call or email those stations and ask why they are defending those who commit rape and leaving out those affected.

One such action is happening at Change.org where people are demanding CNN apologize for their extremely vile coverage that focused on the boys and their lack of a football career due to this sentence (as if it was being done to them and notbecause of their actions), while ignoring the reality that their actions have changed a girl’s life forever and she is the victim in this situation.

These are the conversations LTHF hopes to help facilitate around the community. Take time and help us get the word out about who the true victim in this situation is. Speak out against co-workers who don’t understand why the boys are being held accountable, who only see their football careers ending. Mention the girl! Ask how they feel about what the boys did. It starts with a small voice, but if we all speak together we can help launch a discussion on rape culture and hopefully create a space where victims are properly identified and perpetrators are held accountable for their decisions.